


Bookends

by lizardwriter



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, touch of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 12:05:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5455898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizardwriter/pseuds/lizardwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla tries to break Laura out of her catatonic state by telling her stories, but they end up having more of an effect on her instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bookends

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bobina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobina/gifts).



> Inspired by a headcanon that [bobina](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bobina/pseuds/bobina) has. Happy end of semester to people! This bookends the present day stuff from season zero.

“Did I ever tell you about my first killing spree?” Carmilla paused. She always paused, but as of yet no answer. This time was no different, so she carried on, answering for Laura, pretending that there was no quiver in her voice when she glanced Laura’s way and saw the deadness in her hollow gaze. “No? Well, it was right after I was…reborn, I guess you’d call it. That sounds a bit religious, for it, maybe, but anyway, the thirst when you’re new is just…it’s near unquenchable, so Maman took me to this town…Quiet town. Out of the way. I slaughtered them all. I don’t even remember their faces.” Carmilla frowned at the thought. So many lives taken so quickly and she’d lapped the blood up, and who had remembered them? Had anyone? She certainly hadn’t even though she’d carelessly discarded their lives for her thirst. “Not a prouder moment, definitely.” A monster moment, she wanted to say, but didn’t.

“At least the person you killed was, you know, kinda deserving of it.” Not that Laura thought that anyone deserved death, Carmilla thought with a sigh. Everyone could be saved. Everyone had some good in them. Right? That was the world according to Laura Hollis, the girl who saw a hero in someone who had littered the earth with blood for centuries. The hell that she and Mattie had raised…

Mattie…

Mattie who was no more. Centuries spent together and she’d been carelessly murdered by a silly little girl with heroic ideals and…Well, she wasn’t anymore either, was she? Carmilla would shed no tears for Danny’s death, but she knew that Laura had shed plenty and, much as she loathed that fact, it pained her that Laura was in pain.

Except Laura right now was numb, vacant, a shell of who she was. Maybe it was time for another Mattie story.

“Did I tell you about Saigon? Mattie and I really had a ball there. We painted the town red in the most lavish way. We brought decadence into a place so lacking in it at the time…God, they never saw us coming. The hangover was killer, though, so it was a good thing we were already undead.”

Carmilla glanced at Laura again. No response. No indication that she’d heard. On the upside: no looks of disgust or judgmental pouts. On the downside: no Laura. Carmilla reached out and tucked the blanket a little tighter around Laura. She’d relived so many stories in the past hours. She’d begun with stories of times that had been…less brutal. She had devolved into trying to shock Laura out of her current state. Carmilla knew she felt guilty, but, hell, if Laura hadn’t killed Vordenberg, she wouldn’t even be undead anymore, so she couldn’t bring herself to care that he was dead.

And why HAD Laura saved her? Why had she killed to do it?

Those questions had been playing through Carmilla’s mind in an obnoxious loop for hours. Carmilla didn’t deserve saving. Not by someone like Laura. Laura shouldn’t have broken herself over Carmilla. All Carmilla brought was pain, surely the stories she was relaying demonstrated that. Carmilla wasn’t worthy of being saved.

She was a monster. Ever since the day Maman raised her she had been a monster. She was never the hero that Laura wanted, let alone needed.

“God, why did you do it?” Carmilla asked, looking to Laura for answers, but expecting none, and she wasn’t disappointed. “Why did you save me? I’m just…I don’t even know how many bony frat boys I killed in the last week, let alone how many people I’ve slaughtered in my life, and you…”

Carmilla heard a small *plink* and looked down to see a small droplet of water soaking into the ground beside her. She reached up and wiped at her face to find more tears there. Shit. No. She didn’t do tears. Vampires didn’t cry. She wiped them away angrily.

Laura continued to stare off at nothing. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe Laura hadn’t saved her because she cared about her. Who could care for a monster?

“I’m gonna go off exploring again, okay? See if I can’t find some snacks. You need food.”

Nothing. Not that she expected a response, obviously, but just…anything would have been nice at this point. Even a “Go to Hell!” or a “Shut up, please!”

“Please come back,” Carmilla murmured, emotion cracking her voice. “I know I’m a monster, but just…”

Nothing. Well, then.

Carmilla stood and stretched and eyed the library walls. She cleared her throat. “How about you help me out this time?”

She chose a direction at random and off she went, passing LaFontaine working diligently, their face streaked with tears on the way.

\--

“And what did we learn from this?” Carmilla prompted.

Laura sighed. “We do not chase nine-tailed foxes through suspicious forests that appear in libraries.”

She began to walk away, leading the way again, brazenly trusting that the library would lead them back to basecamp. Carmilla followed. She’d always follow Laura. Maybe someday she’d accept that.

“Right,” Carmilla confirmed, trying to still sound somewhat authoritative.

Although at least they were out of that blasted room. Carmilla shuddered to imagine what other videos Laura might have found laying around. That one was bad enough. Telling Laura about her “willing to torture students just to please Maman” days was one thing. Having her witness them was really a little unnecessary.

MORE than a little unnecessary had been the inclusion of that stuff about “finding her match”, Carmilla couldn’t help thinking. She shot another glare around the library, whose walls they could once again make out through the trees. She was fairly certain they were headed in the right direction. Not positive. She didn’t dare be positive in the library. That was just foolish.

“Hey, Carm?” Laura said, her voice a tad timid, though her steps didn’t falter.

It was so good to hear Laura’s voice again. If Carmilla still believed in a God, she’d have thanked him. She never thought she’d see the day when she longed for the days of a Laura who wouldn’t shut up, but that day had arrived, and now every word she said seemed precious, even if it was nonsense about chicken demons.

“Yeah?” Carmilla replied.

There was a hesitation before Laura murmured, “Thanks.”

Carmilla frowned. For what? For essentially torturing Perry into confessing an admittedly incredibly idiotic thing that she did several years ago? For saving her from the nine-tailed fox? For indulging her curiosity about the stupid tapes?

“For the stories you told me. For talking when I couldn’t. For…just…Thank you. For when I wasn’t…” Laura stopped walking and Carmilla followed suit, her frown staying on her face as she tried to work out exactly what Laura was trying to say.

“All the things you told me…” Laura tried again. “You didn’t have to…You shared and…I couldn’t…I wasn’t…You’re…” Laura stopped talking and chewed nervously on her lip, her eyes darting between Carmilla’s face and the floor.

Carmilla studied her face, searching for any trace of the disgust that Laura must have felt at learning those stories. She found none. Carmilla had half thought that Laura hadn’t even heard them, but apparently she had.

Laura finally smiled a shy smile, and in a quick movement, she pushed up onto the balls of her feet and pressed a small kiss onto Carmilla’s cheek. She offered her another smile, then strode on towards the light down the hall (and it was very nearly a proper hall at this point).

Carmilla watched her walk away, her hand coming up to her cheek, lingering just above the skin that Laura’s lips had just touched. Her cheek tingled from the innocent touch, and she found a small smile creeping across her face.

So Laura had heard her tales of monstrous deeds and she’d…thanked her. And kissed her. Laura didn’t hate her for the things she’d done.

Not that that meant love, but…

Carmilla let out a snort of a laugh and followed after Laura.

She couldn’t let her get too far ahead in the library. She just never knew when a new wall might spring up.


End file.
